The body count was high, the casualties are heavy (In the Mouth of Madness, 1994)

As the fisherman’s wife said, “give me more tentacles”

Every now and then I get in a horror movie slump, where I go through my list of movies yet film after film is just…ehh.  However, I know I have to push through it because eventually I watch a film that makes my brain explode with happiness; a film so good I actually am motivated to write about it. What is this film with the ability to overpower my well-practiced procrastination skills? It is ‘In the Mouth of Madness’ (1994, directed by John Carpenter).

Insurance agent John Trent is hired by a publishing company to find the whereabouts of bestselling author Sutter Cane. Meanwhile those who have read his novels have become axe wielding maniacs. Trent along with editor, Styles travel to a small town; where things start to eerily resemble the plot of Sutter Cane's most recent novel and eventually descend into an epic Lovecraftian nightmare. That is all I’m going to say about the plot because once you get caught up in the various twists and turns its literally as exciting as reading a great fantasy novel.

This is how we did our eyeliner in the 90s

The first thing about this movie I will say is that it has been made with immense attention to detail and purposeful craftmanship. I'd expect no less from John Carpenter but it is still worth mentioning just how well ‘In the Mouth of Madness’ is filmed. All the various elements of production: writing, acting special effects, film techniques-each commendable in their own right-are brought together to create literally one of the best films I have ever seen.

The film also gets META AS FUCK which it honestly manages to pull off really well. I could sit there watching the protagonist sitting in a theatre watching the same movie I am and just totally buy it. ‘In the Mouth of Madness’ is a pleasure to watch with a beautiful warm colour palette that gets exploited in probably one of the best uses of colour in cinematography that I can think of (you will know the scene I mean when you see it.)

Sam Neill is an amazing actor and a main contender for leading actor of the horror genre (can you call that a scream king?) with equally impressive performances in Possession (1981) and Event Horizon (1997).Neill is such an expressive actor! He is perfect for “am I going insane?” roles with his ability to use his entire body to act, not to mention his amazing facial expressions.

Watching his performance in this film, I can honestly see nobody else in the part. He was also charming as hell as the chain smoking John Trent. Well, actually the character is a smug fucking asshole; but Sam Neill pulls it off so well that he is a charming, smug fucking asshole.

Did I say tentacles enough?

The practical effects in this are great; there are some awesome animatronics/ people it suits used to create some awesome and epic Lovecraftian monsters. Every movie can be made better with the addition of tentacles and there is some awesome tentacle action going on in the epic last quarter or so of the movie. Literally the only thing that could have made it better would have been MORE TENTACLES. Also, there is a creepy as hell scene which rivals The Exorcist's backwards down the stairs crawl.

I would highly recommend this little movie from maybe not the most noteworthy years of John Carpenter’s filmography. I’m going to go ahead and say it is now in my list of favourite movies ever. I give it 10/10

Also reading this in the credits made me horror nerd-out

I've had it with these motherf*cking zombies on this motherf*cking train (Train to Busan, 2016)

Too many zombies spoil the……well, everything.

As far as zombie’s go, quite often they suffer from their fundamental limitations e.g. they’re dead fucking bodies and from just being a classic monster in general. To be genuinely exciting or interesting zombie movies have to be approached in a new and interesting way. This is why I was so happy to watch ‘Train to Busan’ (2016, directed by Yeon Sang-ho) and why it was so enjoyable.

To be quite honest over-saturation is the bane of my horror watching experience. I never quite recover from revival periods of themes/ monsters, which is kind of my own fault for obsessively watching only one genre. However, when it comes to zombies this time I have something else to blame: 

The Walking Dead.
First of all if you’re an avid walking dead fan then proceed with caution because my only real talent is to rant. So here is why the walking dead sucks and ruins zombies:

• It has clunky characters who are either stereotypical, do cliché-as-fuck things or are just downright unlikable (as in mate, I do not give a shit if you die, please get on with it).           
• It takes a whole season for a major plot point to be realised, they just drag it on. The way it is done, with one action packed episode followed by one filler episode where nothing happens and everyone just talks about their shitty feelings is excruciating to sit through. This happens with a lot of long running shows which is why many shows that are actually decent only have one or few seasons.
  
  I think I sat through this shitty formula for up until season 5 or maybe it was 4 before realising this show is just the TV equivalent show a shitty Buzzfeed clickbait article; the ones where upon reading  them are so absolutely brain melting that you don’t even care about the reason you were drawn to it in the first place.

•  Every season of the walking dead is the same premise i.e. group overthrows Baddy McBadguy only to move onto the next town and oh look, another bad guy whose exploiting everyone’s desperation. Boss battles are fine in video games but they’re boring as hell to watch.

Seriously can these guys fucking get eaten by zombies already?

Ok end rant. Basically, what I am saying is this: Train to Busan achieves in its two hours what The Walking dead been trying to achieve in all its now 8 seasons. Which is to convey the idea that “humans are the real monsters” and that in a zombie apocalypse, the real bad guys are the ones who are only out for themselves.
While The Walking Dead ham-fistedly fists me in brain with this, Train to Busan does it with finesse and frankly charm.

A father, Seok-woo and young daughter, Soo-an who have become estranged since a divorce, take a train from Seoul to Busan. Meanwhile a zombie apocalypse has begun and the virus quickly begins to spread from the back of the train forward, providing a tense and high-speed fight for survival.

I loved this movie! It was above all else an immensely enjoyable mixture of horror and action. What didn’t work for snakes on a plane works perfectly for zombies on a train. 

The setting gave an added element of claustrophobia which was the perfect way to keep me on the edge of my seat. 

I really felt the terror of the characters as they moved only forward through the carriages- not only do they have to run as fast as they can away from the zombies, but they also have to wait for the train to get to Busan, essentially trapping them in a nightmare

This movie also successfully uses the moments of calm to build strong characters and set up the concept of human compassion in a time of chaos and survival. Soo-an schools her father in kindness in simple ways such as giving up her seat for others and in more direct ways by challenging him on why exactly kindness is needed. These little moments effectively foreshadow later conflicts with other passengers.

Train to Busan is full of relate-able and multi-dimensional characters who you root for the entire time and is a fresh take on a zombie apocalypse thriller. I’m giving it a 9/10.

………Also I give The Walking Dead a -9/10