American Pie for Satanists (Bus Party To Hell, 2017)

I’ll pass on this ride, I’m still waiting for the Venga bus- I’ve heard its coming.

Bus Party To Hell (2017, directed by Rolfe Kanefsky) started off so well, the trailer was great, as was the movie poster. I am also a sucker for a theme song particularly written for a film so once the opening sequence kicked off with “We’re on a party bus, party bus to hell!” along with some generic rock chords, I was game for this film.

A bus full of partygoers travel across the Nevada desert to Burning Man festival. When the driver takes a short cut off-road, the sexed up group are attacked by a cult of cannibals, who are dressed (or not dressed, actually) as though this is a Mad Max xxx parody. The cult pick off the bus people in order to bring in ‘the chosen one.’

We begin with an opening sequence full of Tara Reid terribly delivering terrible dialog. She hacks apart some Halloween costume level looking mummies with a machete. This scene is hilariously bad and a lot of fun, and perhaps is the best part of the whole film.

The film has some great schlocky, gory deaths. Heads get split open or decapitated, blood and guts fly and limbs get thrown around. All the cool stuff you’d expect of a decent romp into B-grade cinema.

Midway through, Bus Party to Hell just devolves into softcore porn, basically excluding any audience member that isn’t a 13 year old boy. On top of this the film has a plot device involving  being ‘barely legal’  Here’s a tip- if you’re going to make a joke about someone being underage and “having” to have sex, Just don’t. It is 100% more likely to come off sleazy than funny.

Look I’m not a prude, I just think there are ways to have schlocky nudity (which the film does get right too) and there are ways not to. Fake blood and intestines poured over giant fake tits? Super! Blood orgies in the sand with live snakes? Neat-o! Coercion of a minor into sex framed as a hilarious joke? Yeah, you lost me on that one.

As far as the horror elements go- I liked them. I liked the cheesy dress ups and monster costumes. There is also a hilarious scene with live snakes spiders and lizards ‘attacking’ people but is just a montage of people screaming while lizards just chill on their heads. Its memorable and I wish the film had more of that kind of humour.

Sadly, my bubble was burst with this one. It just left me with a bad taste. It’s a shame as the film had some great one liners and had actors who put on fun performances. Maybe I’m just too cynical for exploitation films these days, or maybe their time is up.

Bus Party to Hell could have been a cult classic in years to come and maybe it still will. It has all the ingredients needed. By now you should know if you’re going watch this movie or not, if what I’ve described sounds like your kind of ‘so bad its good’ then check it out.

I’m giving it a 1 out of 10.

You can watch Bus Party to Hell On Demand on the platforms listed below: